Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tiger's Woods (and Irons)

I'll start by saying I am not a golfer. Sure, I have a set of clubs that I got on my eleventh birthday, and yeah I played in the Dallas Morning News Junior PGA tournament the following summer, and oh yeah I scored a 75 but that was a whole decade ago. These days although I am no Annika Sorenstam, I do turn the Golf Channel every now and then to watch everyone's (ex) favorite, Tiger. Was I as surprised as everyone else to hear about all of his slutty little shenanigans? Well, no. And I'll tell you why. I, too, was one of el Tigre's many lovers. Meow. Actually that’s hardly the truth; we merely shared an innocent little make out session, but let’s not get too personal. Any way, after hearing about all of the women coming out and saying they too had slept with Tiger, I decided to do some exploring. Now I don't want to be too grotesque (oh who am I kidding? Of course I WANT to be grotesque, but I'm going to be PG here). Of all the various sex kittens Tiger involved his woods and irons with, my personal favorite was erotica star Holly Sampson. Now, I am not going to list her filmography myself (though I do have plenty of my own personal commentary to add), I will instead encourage all four of you, my followers, to look over it yourself- And for those of you whose chins are still on your desk after hearing of my 75 at age 11, it’s only fair (and humbling) to tell you that it was on 9 holes.


  1. I cannot comment because I am laffing too hard, and it's not just because I am the (favorite, I like to think, but I digress) auntie of Jules.

  2. It's the worst when people reek of a raunchy stench at the gym. How do they not smell it? If they can smell it, do they not care? Do they get a satisfaction of others suffering? Maybe his wife doesn't tell him he smells. Maybe he doesn't have a wife to TELL him he smells. Maybe you should be the one to tell him...